I'd rather bleed with cuts of love than live with out any scars... ¿?

I wrote this some time ago and I found it the other day so I want to share it with you, and maybe you can share your thoughts...

"I was listening to my ipod and this song -With or without you- by U2, started playing and right away this images & flashes of my ex.ex bf came into my mind. I remembered how much I loved him...}
He was my first love and I have always thought that the first love is the truest love 'cause at that moment you just give and maybe wait for something back, but mostly you're being honest, sincere, whole, you don't know anything about cheating and you feel like the perfect place to be is where that person exists...

Anyway for a few seconds I remembered how much I loved him but also how bad he broke my heart.. then I thought -I wish I could feel that kind of love again-[which is impossible (according to me) 'cause first love is nothing like second love or third (maybe and just maybe), it can be compared with the love you feel for someone you married...]

Anyway as I was thinking about how I wished I could love that hard again another thought came up and this thought was -I am so lucky that I don't have who to love or who to love me-...maybe this is a little harsh but I think that maybe I'm alone and I don't have who to hold and I can be in a bad mood all the time (and I can sure live with that)... however nobody is breaking my heart (and if someone did I'm not sure I could live with that again)"

so hurra! for the lonely, cranky ME:) ,xo

ps. would you reather bleed with cuts of love than live with out any scars???